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February 25, 2016     Clinch Valley Times
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February 25, 2016

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Page 2 CLINCH VALLEY TIMES St. Paul, Va. Thursday, February 25, 2016 wax.. by Ann Young Gregory Lions, lambs and other critters Reprinted from March 8, 2007 Late last week I determined that i would spend a very relaxed, lazy and pretty much non-constructive weekend. Those of us in the office (that is to say every- body but me) were in pretty good shape, work-wise, by the end of Thursday, so Susan and I decided to take Friday off as an almost-springtime bonus. Although I've said it before, it bears repeating that I'm getting a little tired of hearing Johnny Wood tell us how warm it's going to be "over the weekend" or "next week," only to have morning temperatures checking in at the same old teens and twenties ranges. I'm sorry, but I don't consider twenty-five degrees warm, even if it does get to fifty in the afternoon. After all, fifty's not all that hot, either. But I digress. Peyton had been bored with my idea of staying .at home Saturday doing nothing. David had gone to Christiansburg to watch the J.J. Kelly girls' state tournament game. Allen, who dutifully worked on Friday, in spite of Susan and me, seemed to be of a mind with me to do as little as possible Saturday, although he DID go to the grocery store for us! We were at Peyton's house--Allen was reading the Saturday paper from cover to cover, and I was watching some wonderful old ninety-minute episodes of Quincy, M.E. on my own little DVD player, one of my favorite toys! Remember Quincy (i.e. Jack Klugman), the iras- cible but always-right coroner? I have a collection of old TV show DVDs that members of my family have given me since Allen presented me with my wonderful little DVD player Christmas a year ago. I have a couple of seasons of "Murder She Wrote", "Northern Exposure" (one of my all-time favorites), "M*A*S*H" (also one of my all-time favorites), "Law and Order", and, of course, "Quincy, M.E." I have a few movies, but they don't hold the charm for me that my old favorite TV shows do! Allen was still at the grocery store and I was stretched out on the couch being entertained, when all of a sudden, the most horrible wind stirred everything up outside. It blew and blew, harder and harder. I have no idea of the speed of the wind gusts, but I wouldn't be surprised to he~r that they were close to sixty or seven- ty miles an hour. One particularly fierce gust ripped something metal off Peyton's roof, and shortly after- ward, another mighty blast of wind shook the windows (and there are a lot of them) in her sun room, making me think that glass was going to come raining down on me. Allen came in with groceries and said the wind had blown his Blazer all over the road on the way home from the store. The almost-gale-force wind kept up, and it was one of the few times I've ever been afraid of wind that was unaccompanied by hail or thunder and light- ning. Even though it was March 3, one of my first thoughts was, "March sure is coming in like a lion this e I'? s y ~. A opposed, of course, to coming in like a lamb, which is the other traditional alternative. If things go as they're supposed to, the end of March will be a gentle lamb, since we've already seen its fierce side. Have you ever stopped to think about how often we use animals in metaphors and similes to describe what- ever it is we need to describe? (I'm sure you know this, but just in case: "In like a lion" is a simile, of course, since it uses the word "like" to compare--the word "as" can also be used. Metaphors just compare without using "as" or "like." The same comparison as a metaphor would be something like "March is a lion.") Since I was engaged in major league lethargy on Saturday afternoon, I had the opportunity to reflect on this whole question of animal metaphors and similes. I came up with a modest list--some of the similes are: "sly (or cunning) as a fox," "busy as a bee," "slippery as an eel", "meek as a lamb," "fat as a Pig-" while metaphors are a bit harder to pin down: "weasel your way out," "you dirty rat," "crocodile tears," "don't count your chickens before they hatch," "let sleeping dogs lie," and "monkeying around." According to a website which includes a review of the book Speaking of Animals; A dictionary of Animal Metaphors, "no other nonhuman source has served as the basis for more metaphors than animals." I would have loved having a look at this book, written by Robert A. Palmatier, containing, as it does, 3,000 entries-- however, its price tag of $109.05 is a bit daunting! I wondered whether or not J. Fred Matthews Public Library might have such a specific work, and decided probably not. (The book evidently deals only in metaphors--similes are mentioned only briefly in the review I found.) As with most topics, this one became more and more interesting as I acquired more information. For exam- ple, the animals most often used in metaphors are the horse, followed closely by the dog. And you may be surprised to find that the Bible is the literary source which contains the most animal metaphors, while the work of Shakespeare comes in a close second. Remember "Richard the Lion-hearted" from British history? It occurred to me that it might be fun to tag some of today's personalities, organizations, etc., with metaphors and/or similes and see how that works out. The first one that popped into my mind was "Dick Cheney, the sly fox." "FEMA and the feds let New Orleans go to the dog," "our troops in Iraq are as brave as lions," and "Halliburton is greedy as a pig." I hesitate to attach a name to this one, but "drunk as a skunk" surely applies to somebody in the public eye! A question that occurred to me is that while some of the metaphors and similes are obvious (busy as a bee, fat as a pig, quiet as a mouse, proud as a peacock), how are others devised? A few of the ones I mean are drunk as a skunk (I've never seen a drunken skunk, have you?) How do we know owls are wise? There's no way in creation I'm going to fred out first hand whether or not an eel is slippery! I guess we just have to take these metaphors and similes at face value and use them or not. I almost promise you'll use at least some of them, though they're so much a part of the language that it would be difficult to speak (or write) without metaphors and similes, lions and lambs! Senator Chafin General Assembly Session Update Senator Ben Chafin The General Assembly has passed the half-way point of session called crossover. This year, crossover occurred on February 16 meaning the House of Delegates and the Senate are required to com- plete their work on bills filed by their respective members. Therefore, from here forward, the House of Delegates will be consider- ing bills sponsored by sen- ators and the Senate will be considering bills submitted by delegates. In the Senate of Virginia, legislation must endure the committee process and a vote by the full body before it is approved and sent to the House. For each bill, the consideration process starts anew, replicating the same steps it just completed. A Senate bill must now be considered and approved ers and state employees,courts will receive state by a House subcommittee Teachers are underpaid for support in Southwest and committee and then the essential job of educat- Virginia. Drug courts pro- achieve a majority vote of ing the youth. We hope to vide comprehensive sub- the entire House. continue to increase corn- stance abuse treatment and As we passed the pensation for teachers to intensive supervision for crossover point in session, help retention rates in order non-violent offenders with the Senate Finance to keep our best teachers serious drug addiction Committee released our here in Virginia. problems. These drug treat- biennial budget proposal In the proposed Senate ment programs help stop on Sunday, February 21. budget, there are also large the revolving door ~y Unlike the Federal investments in workforcebreaking the cycle of Government, the General training and credentialing repeat offenders because Assembly is required by programs. The economy inthey get the services and the Constitution of Virginia Virginia is lagging and our supervision they need in to pass a balanced budget, regional economy is suffer- order to stay drug free. Just like a family's house- ing greatly. These new dol- These important programs hold budget, we cannot lars going towards work-will be able to expand their spend more than we take force training will makeservices in order to better in. The proposed budget Virginia more attractive to serve our communities and reflects a conservative out- prospective industries help reduce drug addiction look for the next two years looking to relocate or and crime in the region. In investing in the key func- expand. We must have a short, drug courts work. tions of government, workforce prepared for They are effective use of The Senate budget new business. These pro-our resources in curbing heavily increases the grams will also help people drug addiction. investment in k-12 to sup- currently unemployed Thank you for your con- port public education, looking to train in a new tinued support. It is an Across the state, localities industry to fred a job. honor to represent will be receiving critical Increased funding for Southwest Virginia in the new funding for schools. Spearhead Trails and drug General Assembly. Please The Senate Budget relived courts are two of my budg- do not hesitate to reach out the constraints on funding et amendments that made it to mewith your questions that the Governor had into the proposed Senateand comments during ses- specifically tied tO the hir- budget. Spearhead trailssion. Be on the lookout for ing of new teachers. In the will be receiving critical my weekly General 38th District, school enroll- funding for operations and Assembly Session update ment is generally not building new trails. Thein your local paper and on increasing and therefore, ATV trails continue to be a my Facebook page. Please tying new funding to the catalyst for new business contact our office by phone hiring of more teachers is and revitalizing towns in at 276-889-1044 or by not helpful. In addition, Southwest Virginia. If the email at district38@sen- there is a two-percent funding stays in place for increase in salary for teach- the final budget, drug CLINCH VALLEY TIMES DEADLINES: Editorial copy (anniversaries, birthdays, weddings, calendar items, press releases, etc.) 3p.m. Monday ADVERTISING (Classified and display) 12 noon Monday When the Romance is Gone by Pam Young Experts claim romantic love lasts from 18 months to three years. Mother Nature must know this so once she makes a connec- tion; she has to work fast if she wants more babies! In 18 months she can put out one baby and one on the way (giving the mother a little recoup time) and in three years she can produce three. Done ! That's what happened to me anyway and I blame it all on romance. This will date me, but I have three children thanks to Johnny Mathis. When he sang Misty and those lus- cious tones flowed from his lips to my ears, "Look at me, I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree," bang...I was pregnant with Michael and wouldn't have been surprised if he'd come out bi-racial I was so in love with Johnny. Chances Are (one of Johnny's biggest hits) rang in Peggy Ann and Wild is the Wind pulled Joanna from her non-phys- ical place in the Universe to a place in our home. The marriage lasted 15 years mainly because my ex was a workaholic and gone most of the stint and, well, I was in love with Johnny. Mother Nature knows what happens after babies. Romance flies right out the window and it's mainly the baby's fault. Ask any nurs- ing mother if she needs anyone to touch her. One mom told me something that bordered on pomogra- phy if you didn't know she was talking about her infant son. "Every two hours he's sucking on me, slobbering on my face, licking my neck and fondling me. I love him and it's all okay with me, but I sure don't need any touching from anyone else. When Mel comes home, I'm all sucked out!" Because our culture sells lots of products based on romance, we're doomed to think we want stuff we really don't want when it comes to it. What we really want is love and compan- ionship. We want a cozy fire, long walks on the beach or in the mountains, and time to share good food and good times with another person. But adver- tisers want us to want boats (romance), diamonds (romance), fancy cars (romance) and free clothes (romance). If you were looking for a mate to spend your life with and you had to write out what you want, would you ever say: "I love long walks on the beach in a designer coat and shoes, dripping in diamonds, with keys in my pocket to a Maybach Exelero (eight million bucks) to drive to my wait- ing yacht? No, love is not cham- pagne and fancy yachts, but we're pulled to consid- er it. Look at what this per- son who was trying to sell yachts had to say: "The yachting life is one filled with romance, luxury, relaxation and class. Today's yachts are filled with more technolo- gy, gadgets, and amenities than most five-star hotels. In them you can fred bars, swimming pools, hot tubs, 1000 thread count linens and oh so much more. Here are the ten most expensive yachts in the world." Okay, I went through the list and I did want the Octopus. That's my friend (well we're fellow Washingtonians) Paul Allen's yacht. A little- known fact about Microsoft co-founder, Paul Allen's superyacht, which he calls "Octopus," is that it houses two submarines. One can hold 10 people and drive for up to eight hours. The other can be controlled remotely. It's been loaned out for Google Earth's "Explore the Ocean" project, as well as for documentaries on Discovery Science Channel. That's pretty cool, but now it's off the subject of romance. Carl Jung said, "The fact that we say 'romance' when we mean 'love' shows us that underneath our language there is a psy- chological muddle. We are confusing two great psy- chological systems within us, and this has a devastat- ing effect on our lives and our relationships." o In the book We, by Robert Johnson, he writes, "The task of salvaging love from the swamps of romance begins with a shift of vision. Real relat- edness between two people is experienced in the small tasks they do together: the quiet conversation when the day's upheavals are at rest, the soft word of understanding, the daily companionship, the encouragement offered in a difficult moment, the small gift when least expected, the spontaneous gesture of love." With babies and Johnny Mathis behind me, I put romance in its proper place years ago. Of course I get vicarious fixes watching Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant and Richard Gere (not a threesome), but instead of wishing I were in their shoes, I'm able to shift my vision and just enjoy their drama while I luxuriate in my clean, cozy peaceful home with my husband of 28 years in whose happiness is vital to my own. That's love. As Robert Heinlein wrote in his 1961 novel Stranger in a Strange Land: "Love is that condi- tion in which the happiness Of another person is essen- tial to your own." That's so simple, isn't it? The happiness of the other is essential to our own and we can practice that without a yacht, a fancy car, or Louis Vuitton luggage. And don't forget the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. For more from Pare Young go to www.clubor- You'll find many musings, videos of Pare in the kitchen prepar- ing delicious meals, videos on how to get organized, lose weight and get your fmances in order, all from a reformed SLOB's point of view. Clinch Valley Times MEMBER VIRGINIA PRESS ASSOCIATION Published weekly in St. Paul, VA 24283, by the CLINCI-I VALLEY PUBLISHING CO., INC. The Clinch Vall0y Times serves the fottr-couaty area of Wise, Russell, Dic -kenson and Scott, with offices and plant located in the CLINCH yALLEY TIMES building, 16541 Russell Street. Periodicals postage is paid at the Post Office in St. Paul, x~A 24283. AHen Gregory Editor/Adv. Susan Treat Adv./Graphics ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS: In advance: $28.50 in Wise and Russell Counties; $30.00 in other 24- zip-codes; elsewhere $32.50. POSTMASTER: send address changes to: Clinch Valley Tinms, P.O. Box 817, St. Paul, VA 24283 SINGLE COPY - 50c Classified Advertislng: mini- mum chaxge $6.00 for up to 20 words, in advance; 250 pet word after 20 words. Display Adverxt- i.sing rates on application Periodicals publieatioal Post ISSN: 767600